my word is: rejection.
***
i swallowed his words as if they were my own.
as if they were a tall class of scotch on a painful morning.
i drank the words with such force,
that i choked physically,
but over my own silence.
the shelter of my world,
my last pillar,
had broken under the pressure,
the pressure of my hopeless life.
he couldn't take it.
he couldn't stand me.
he wanted someone new,
someone who didn't need a crutch.
he was my barrier from the harshness of reality.
and he was lost in the crowd of lovers and haters,
right before my lips, my eyes,
there was nothing i could
do to save myself from drowning in the
coldness of the evening.
a homeless man selling sunglasses.
i was like him now.
alone.
crumpled with nothing in my
hands.
air.
that was it.
air was the miracle i was breathing in.
i had something i needed.
i would survive.
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